364 Days To Annoy Harry Potter
by Sirius Black Here
Summary: Harry seems to be troubled. Not just by life itself but by his new guardian Mel... She has to work for him for a year and she annoys the living hell to him...Please R&R! Complete, unless given ideas for new chapters.
1. Yes! First Chappie!

364 days to annoy Harry Potter (and one for him)  
  
Disclaimer: Don't MAKE me send Mel over there!  
  
Mel's POV 3:03:30 a.m. Day 1 "Harry?" I poked Harry.  
Harry was asleep at the moment.  
"Harry!" I poked him even harder.  
No reply.  
"HARRY!" I poked him really hard.  
Still no reply.  
"Fine..." I left the room.  
I return with a bucket of ice and water.  
SPLAH!  
"AHH! WHAT?" Harry sat up sputtering. He looked at the clock: 3:10 a.m., "What?"  
"Where's the bathroom?"  
  
Day 2 10 a.m.  
"Harry?" I walk into Harry's room in a baseball uniform.  
"Huh?"  
"Will you go to the park with me?"  
"No."  
"Please?"  
"No!"  
"Pretty please?"  
"NO!"  
"Pretty Please with a cherry on top?"  
"WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU NOT GET ABOUT THE WORD NO? THE 'N' OR THE 'O'?"  
"FINE!" His escorts me out of the room, and shuts the door behind me.  
Tap. Tap. Tap. Thunk! Tap tap...  
"OW!" I was throwing my baseball at his door and he opened it and met his face.  
"WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING MEL?"  
"Just practicing."  
"Well do it quietly."  
"Okie dokie!" I saluted him as if he was a general. He shuts the door and I 'quietly' practice.  
TAP! TAP! TAP! THUNK! TAP! TAP! TAP! TH-  
"OOW!" Harry's face yet again had been in acutance with the ball.  
"I'm sorry!"  
  
Day 3 7:34:09 am  
Mel cringes at Harry.  
Harry is chomping on bacon.  
"Do you know how many pigs you're killing when you eat that?" Mel screamed at Harry and runs off crying.  
Harry thinks about little piglets getting grinded up, gets up and runs into bathroom looking quite green.  
  
Day 4 2:33:04 pm  
Harry is in his cupboard getting his spell books. From above he hears:  
Thudthudthudthudthud-THUD-thud-thud-thud-thud (x3)  
Harry opens the door and looks up.  
Mel is standing on the top step above the cupboard and jumping up and down on it. She smiles and runs in the other direction.  
  
Day 5 7:04:07 pm  
"I hope you like ice cream." Harry walked over to their table and handed Mel a chocolate ice cream cone.  
"YEAH!!!" Mel yelled as she began to slurp it down, loudly.  
"Mel? Can you do that a little more quietly?" Harry asked.  
"SURE!" Mel began to slurp it down even more loudly.  
"If you want another one than you better stop doing it so loud." Harry's voice sounded like he was about to burst.  
"Ok." Mel whispered. She took a lick of it and then a really loud slurp.  
"MEL!" Harry leaped for Mel, but she ducked and he went flying into the table behind her.  
"Gee boss. You broke the table..."  
  
Day 6 No time filled in. Harry's POV  
  
I snuck past her room and into the bathroom, ' Phew!' I whipped the nervous sweat off my forehead ask I began to fill the tub with hot water.  
I removed my clothes and slipped in. I relaxed but I had a feeling it was not going to be for long.  
KNOCK KNOCK!  
"What? I'm in the tub!" I yelled at her. I knew it was her.  
"GET OUT YOU'LL KILL MY PET SNAKE!" she yelled at me through the door. I felt something wrap around my leg.  
"Mel. Mel! MEL!" Why was I calling her? Oh bloody hell! The door opened, "GET OUT!" I yelled. I grabbed a towel and covered my—you-know- what. Mel just stood there for a few seconds before snapping back to reality, and tried to get the snake off my leg. It wouldn't come off but it wrapped up my thigh and hid half of its body under the towel. She reached forward but I pushed her away.  
"I have to get it some how." She said coming forward again.  
"NO!"  
"Do you not remember? I get my memory erased after this, so whatever happens this year I won't remember it..." She gave and evil smile, "so do you want me to get that snake or not?" she rolled up her sleeves and knelt beside the tub.  
"You're a pervert." I informed.  
"Sticks and stones, Harry." She gave me a smirk.  
"No. You're really gross." I said again. How could this be happening?  
"Hold STILL! He's right there..." She put her hand out over the tub.  
"Oh God," I whispered. I closed my eyes.  
Splash!  
I felt a hand against my stomach and I felt the snake, hand, AND towel lift from me. I imminently closed the curtain as soon as I knew she was gone.  
"Oh damn that was annoying..." I breathed, "At least she'll forget it in a year. Oh no..." I thought of how she has to come to school with me this year and I have a feeling she'll become friends with Hermione and maybe even Draco.  
Let's face it, I was ruined. 


	2. Well, That's Mel For Ya'

Wow! Thanks you two wonderful reviewers! I hope more come along and yah... well this is giving me really funny ideas...ha ha ha ha Harry: Please...SBH you already put me thru enough! SBH: don't worry harry....it has barely begun! *laughs evilly* Disclaimer: nope! I don't own harry, ron, Hermione, Draco, and any of the HP characters...phew! Glad I got that off my chest! Oh...no flames please....although... even if you do, I guess, it *sniff* won't hurt *sniff* my feelings! *bawls* Harry: Plz be nice and be good reviewers. I can't have her crying on my shoulder anymore... all my shirts are tear-stained SBH: Tear-stained? You can just *sniff* wash them in the laundry machine thingy... w/e muggles call them Harry: You got it right...just not the— SBH: Now! We begin to put harry into peril! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
Day 7  
  
"HaaaAAAaaarrrrrrryyyyyyy..." "What?" Harry asked annoyed. He was trying to finish all his homework this summer so he could enjoy the rest of his summer, except for one thing—Mel.  
"Are you done?"  
"At this rate? No..."  
"Do you want me to make you some lemonade? Maybe some cookies?"  
Harry was surprised at her. Wasn't this the girl, who just yesterday, had to reach in HIS tub and take her snake from his—thigh and, uh, leg? But he excepted the offer, "Sure, Mel. Thanks!" He grinned after him as she left, "Uh-oh." Harry thought.  
You see the Dursley's vacation ended today, and he didn't exactly tell them about Mel...  
' Maybe... if she's a good enough cook, Dudley will want her to stay...' Harry shrugged and went back to his work.  
Soon the whole house was filled with the aroma of cookies, cakes, muffins, and...  
"Huh?!" Harry ran down the stairs taking four at a time, ran into the kitchen, and sure enough Mel stood in front of the stove in a pink apron cooking,  
"Stir fry, Harry," she smiled, she must've seen Harry's confused look, "Mrs. Dursley called, I explained everything to her, and told her that I'd do the cooking the rest of the summer. What's wrong Harry? Harry?" Mel stared wide-eyed at Harry sat on the floor, jaw dropped open.  
"Y-y-you mean... I don't have to cook anymore?"  
"Well, if you want to, Harry..."  
"NO! I mean—no thanks, you can,"  
"You sure?"  
"Yes, no, I mean yes, yes, I am."  
"Positive?"  
"Positive."  
"Only fools are positive..."  
"I kn—HEY!"  
  
Day 8  
  
"Oh Mel, you're a wonderful cook!" Harry's aunt complimented.  
Mel blushed, "Thank you, Mrs. Dursley."  
Harry rolled his eyes: Mel enjoyed the attention. He was quiet sure she would have a LOT of friends at Hogwarts this year.  
"Mum? Can Mel cook every night?" Dudley asked, helping himself to thirds.  
"Oh, but she is! She's cooking breakfast and dinner for the rest of the summer!" Aunt Petunia smiled.  
"What about after that?" Dudley asked. Aunt Petunia couldn't answer.  
"Uh—anyone for cake?" Mel suggested. Aunt Petunia looked as if a rock had rolled off her shoulders.  
"Cake! Yes please!" Dudley ate the rest of his meal, gave her the plate and awaited his slice.  
// after dinner//  
Harry laid on his bed staring mindlessly at the ceiling.  
A light tap on the door interrupted his empty train of thought.  
"Yeah?" Harry sat up.  
"Harry, it's Mel. Can I come in?"  
"Uh—sure." He turned on his desk lamp.  
"Hello." She whispered. She wore rubber-ducky P.J.s with matching slippers. She scuffed across the room and sat at the end of him bed.  
"Hi... What is it Mel? I'm sure you know where the bathroom is?"  
"Oh," she giggled like a little girl, "Yes, I do. I just want you to know that we're going on vacation tomorrow..." She smiled. "Just for the day?" Harry asked.  
"Yeah," Mel looked at Hedwig. Her eyes got wide and a smiled appeared, "OOOOOO! BIRDY!" She rushed to the cage and stroked the bird gently.  
"You like birds, eh?" Harry asked.  
"Yes, Boss, I do."  
"Stop calling me "boss"."  
"Sure thing Boss."  
"Mel? Stop. Calling. Me. Boss."  
"Ok sire!" She bowed, "Hail the-boy-who-lived-then-smoked-V-lord's- butt-again!"  
  
Day 9  
  
"Where are we going Mel?" Harry asked sitting at the table.  
"Oh, uh, no where, really." She smiled sheepishly.  
"Tell me Mel."  
"Just wait and—,"  
"TELL MEL."  
"Can't it be a—,"  
"TELL ME MEL!"  
"Geez, Mr. Volcano, Boss, sir."  
  
Day 10  
  
"Mel lied to me—again." Harry sighed.  
"So what if I did?" Mel asked entering his room in a mini skirt, spaghetti-strap, and high-heeled boots.  
"Nevermind, whatareyouwearing?" The words collided.  
"Huh?"  
"Whatareyouwearing?" Harry asked again.  
"Uh-oh."  
"What-whatareyouwearing?" He tired over and over to say it but the just got more and more tangled.  
"Ha..." Mel tried to keep back her laughing but it was too funny. She burst out laughing.  
"Whatissofunny?" Harry's words came out in a jumble.  
"To *laugh* many *laugh* potions have *laugh* to your *laugh* HEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She fell on the floor laughing.  
"Istilldon'thinkthisisveryfunny." Harry said crossing his arms.  
  
Day 11  
The next day all Mel could talk about was:  
"You sounded so funny!" or "Hey, Mr. Jumble!" and "Where did your accent go? Of ter Ireland?"  
Then she would laugh her head off, but then the phone rang.  
Mel looked at Harry, or better known as 'Mr. Jumble', and back to the phone.  
"I GOT IT!" They both screamed and ran to it. Harry was in the lead, and was very proud of himself until:  
"Uff! Get off!"  
"My phone my phone my phone!" Mel screamed as she used his head as a push off for her to run to the phone. She was on the top stair.  
"Ah!"  
Harry had tackled her and they rolled down the stairs.  
THUNK!  
They found the bottom platform.  
"Ow! You—,"  
RING RING!  
"Uhg!" Harry this time used Mel as a foot push, "Ha!" Harry laughed. He was almost to the phone. But, yet again, Mel pounced. "Uff!" Mel crawled over to the table, but Harry grabbed her foot and she fell on her stomach. Harry laughed as he sat on Mel's back, criss-cross, and answered the phone as if he was the richest person in the world, "Hello? Dursley residence." "Hello? Is Mel there?" Harry was shocked: all that for a lousy phone call for Mel? He sighed angrily, handed the phone down to Mel, but sat on her back, making sure she wouldn't pounce on him again. "Hello? Mel here, *pause* Oh hi Ron!" She said into the phone. Harry was even more shocked so he sat still, burning with anger, and listened: "Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. Heh. Harry kinda got mad at me. Yes, yes. We will later. I don't know when but later! Ok? Alright? Ok. Bye bye Ron!" She handed the phone back up to Harry. Harry took it and talked into the phone: "Ron?" "Hey mate! This IS Harry Potter right?" "Duh, Ron. You've only known me since I was eleven..." Harry was irritated. "Oh, so sorry mate. Well, what are you and Mel doing?" A smirk ran across Mel's face. "Well right now he's sitting on me!" Mel yelled. Harry lifted a foot and kicked her in the back. "Ron? Let me explain..." He told Ron about the "Fight For The Phone". Ron was cracking up at the end. "That's Mel for ya! She'll do anything to answer the phone! I'm serious! She answers really weird too, like: ' What flavor Milkshake for you?' My mom thought she called a restaurant!" Ron laughed. "Oh? How come you know so much about Mel?" Harry asked, coldly. "Well I tried to call, mate. But Mel insisted that you got a full eight hours of sleep and—," "Just get to the bottom line." Harry said coldly. "Dumbledore wanted us to meet her, too," Ron said hurriedly, "Sorry, but I gotta go Harry! See you at Diagon Alley! Bye!" Ron hung up. Harry hung the phone up, very confused. "Why did you tell me that Ron had called?" He asked Mel hotly. "Uh—because you would get mad if I had—will you PLEASE get OFF ME?!" Mel turned over, so that Harry sat on her stomach. "Say you're sorry, then maybe, MAYBE, I'll get off!" Harry crossed his arms across his chest and looked at the ceiling. "I'm sorry." She said barely audible. "What?" Harry demanded. "I'M SORRY!" She yelled. "That's more like it..." Harry smiled, got off, and got up. "He just won't admit that he liked sitting on my back..." Mel says, getting up. "I HEARD THAT!" 


	3. Daddy?

Day 12  
  
"Harry? Are you dressed? Can I come in?" Mel asked knocking on Harry's door.  
"Yeah..."  
Mel opened the door, walked in, and sat on his desk, "Guess what?" she asked, swinging her legs.  
"What?"  
"I forgot. NO WAIT! I remembered! Guess what?"  
"'I forgot'?"  
"No... I forgot!"  
  
Day 13  
  
Harry wakes up to unpleasant sight.  
Naked Barbies and Skippers are hanging from his ceiling, there's honey in his hair, and he's got a whip-cream bikini on over his pajamas.  
The first thing that comes to mind:  
"MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!"  
"Yes, sire?"  
"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Harry stands up but realizes that his pillow had been to his head.  
"I-didn't-do-it." She said.  
"Oh, ok then who did? Hedwig?"  
"I dunno..." She laughed.  
"WHAT?!" Harry asked.  
Mel stepped forward, wiped some whip cream from his shoulder, licked her finger, and said, "Two things! One: There are yellow feathers glued to your butt. Two: You don't look good in bikinis..." She whipped some more off, liked her finger, and then left.  
  
Day 14  
  
"Would you like some ice cream with that chocolate sauce?" Harry asked Mel as she emptied half a bottle of chocolate sauce onto her ice cream.  
"There is some silly!" Mel said taking a bite of chocolate sauce.  
"That's gross..." Harry informed.  
"Well excuuuse me Mr. I'm-the-boy-who-lived-so-worship-me!!!"  
"That's not true! DO YOU THINK I EVEN WANTED THIS?" Harry broke his plastic spoon and got another one.  
There was a moment of silence.  
"Yes."  
Harry flings some chocolate sauce at her face, "Ha!"  
Mel dumps the whole, or what's left of it, bottle of chocolate sauce on Harry's head, "Ha ha."  
  
Day 15:  
  
Mel is in the kitchen humming the Starwars theme song while washing the dishes.  
"What are you humming Mel?" Harry asked.  
"Starwars' theme song..." She continued humming.  
"Well...can you please stop?"  
She stopped.  
"Thank you."  
She started humming the Wiggles theme song.  
"NO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Harry plugged his ears with his palms.  
  
Day 16:  
  
"Mel. Mel! MEL! GET UP!" Harry yelled. It was noon and she wasn't up yet.  
"I don't wanna go to school... five more minutes..." Mel said trying to hit Harry but totally missed.  
"Mel—,"  
Swoosh!  
"You..."  
Swoosh!  
"...have..."  
Swoosh!  
"...get..."  
Swoosh!  
"...UP..."  
Swoosh!  
"...now!"  
Swoosh—wack!  
"OW!"  
"I'm up, I'm up! Oh... did I hit you?"  
Harry looked at her with a red hand print on his face.  
"Oh... I guess I did..."  
  
Day 17:  
  
"Mel! You've been in there all day! Come out!"  
"NO!" she cried.  
"Why not?"  
"It's my birthday..."  
"...and...?"  
"It's Friday..."  
"...yes." This was going nowhere.  
"The thirteenth!"  
"Oh. Ok you just stay in there then..."  
"I want a hug!"  
"Mel, I can't...you..."  
"WHAAAAA!!!!"  
"Ok! Ok! Here!" Harry pushed open the door and is almost squeezed to death.  
"Have a good...oh Nevermind..."  
"I know...it's ok..." Harry said in a fatherly voice.  
Mel pulled away from him, at last, and looked at him,  
"Daddy?"  
"WHAT?! NO! NOT ME!" there's more I just have to go to red robin! Bye bye ppls! Disclaimer: nope. Wrong gal... Please read and review! Thanks in advanced! 


	4. Playboy Magazines and Bra Shopping

Day 18  
  
Entry title: Playboy day  
  
"Harry! You've got mail!" Mel yelled trying to imitate the little voice on a.o.l.  
"Cool!" Harry slid down the railing and in front of Mel.  
"You got a magazine..."  
"What? I didn't order any magazines!" Harry stated.  
"Uh-huh. Playboy?" Mel sighed and rolled her eyes, "I should have known!" Mel looked at the cover with a wide-eyed, shocked look. She cleared her throat as she passed it to Harry.  
Harry took one look at the cover (which had a naked girl in bed on it) and shoved it back at her,  
"I did not subscribe for that!" Harry said.  
"Uh-huh," Mel unfolded a foldout picture and said quietly, " Scarred. Scarred! I'm scarred for life!"  
Harry looked at her with a confused look on his face,  
"What?"  
"Nothin'!" Mel folded the magazine up, "Let's burn it!" She said smartly.  
"Sounds good to me." Harry shrugged and followed the skipping Mel to the living room, and to the fireplace.  
"Ha!" Mel laughed as she tossed it on the growing flames.  
"You proud of yourself?" Harry asked sitting on one side of the couch.  
"Yep! But guess what I'm craving?" Mel said sitting in the middle of the couch.  
"I don't wanna know..." Harry said leaning back. Mel looked around like it was the deepest secret,  
"Smores!" She giggled.  
"Don't you think that the bad influence of the magazine get on the marshmallow and then into us?" Harry asked, dumbly.  
"Uh-no." She skipped into the kitchen and returned with the smore making materials, "Damn it! There's not chocolate left! Oh Harry," She looked up, "d—,"  
"No no no! You've blamed me enough today!" Harry folded his arms over his chest.  
"You don't love me!" Mel burst into tears. Harry wasn't sure what to do.  
"Oh, I do LIKE you..." Harry said pleadingly.  
"NO YOU D-D-DON'T!" Mel balled.  
  
Day 19 Entry title: Crush spiller  
  
Mel was still mad at Harry from the other day. Harry stood with his head on her door pleading her to come out and help him cook dinner, before the Dursleys got home.  
"Go AWAY!" Mel cried.  
"Mel. You know I can't cook!" Harry stated. He heard a mutter on the other side of the door,  
"That is true... GO AWAY!" She yelled again.  
"Mel," Harry sighed, "What do you want?"  
"Ambissjundhognettrhurn." Mel muttered.  
"What?"  
"A KISS and A TRIP to HOGWARTS!" she yelled at the top of her lung.  
"Uh... I can do the second one but I can't do the first." Harry said.  
"But... but... but... please?!" Mel begged.  
"Mel, I," Harry sighed, "I like someone else.... So I can't."  
"OOOOHH! Harry likes someone! Harry's in love! Har—HAY! I know who it is!!!!!!" Mel said proudly, picking up her phone.  
"What!? NO YOU DON'T!" Harry said pounding on the door.  
"Hey, this is Mel, is Hermione there?" She paused getting a reply, " Oh, ok... tell her I'll call her tonight. Thanks. Good-Bye, Mrs. Granger," Mel hung up, "you're so lucky she doesn't get home until ten tonight. But! No matter! I'm gunna call her then!"  
"Like I said before, I'm screwed..." Harry whispered to himself.  
  
Day 20 Entry title: Victorian Secret Day  
  
"Tell me again why we're here?" Harry said, setting his head in his hand as they drove into the parking lot of the London Mall.  
"I need to shop! It's a girl thing!"  
"Then why couldn't I just stay in the car?"  
"'Cause! I need your help!" Mel slipped out of the car, shut the door, and walked around to wait for Harry to get out.  
"Oh dear..." Harry sighed and got out. Mel smiled at him and they headed to the entrance.  
  
Once inside they grabbed a pretzel and a coke at the food court and then headed down the not-so-crowded halls of the mall.  
"Do you want a piercing?" Harry asked, thinking that's what she wanted, since some girls did.  
"Oh, I guess I do! I all ready have one but what the hay! Another couldn't hurt!" She asked about it, sat down (with Harry there to hold her hand if she needed it), got it, and they left.  
Mel enjoyed the little sucker the lady gave her; then she spotted a store she just "had" to go into!  
Victorian's Secret.  
"Can I wait out here?" Harry asked, eyeing her strangely.  
"That, as I told you, is where I need your help." She smirked at him.  
"Uh! But! I!" Harry said, being pulled in, feet dragging.  
  
"Harry! What about this one?" She held up a pink, lacy one.  
"As long as you don't wear it under a white shirt..." That is what she told him to say with the colored ones and black ones, but for the white one's he was to say: ' fine.'  
"Ok... how about this?" She held up two blue and purple ones.  
"As long as you don't wear them under a white shirt." Harry said.  
"And this?" She held up a black sports bra.  
"As long as you don't wear it under a white shirt!" Harry said impatiently, "Are you done?!"  
"No not yet, one more... no I think that'll do... Let's pay."  
"Let's? How about you and I'll go over to that music shop across the hall?" Harry said stuffing his hands in his pockets and weaved his way through the racks of bras.  
"Ok, hon'."  
  
Day 20 Entry title: Do you have any idea what time it is?!  
  
A tapping awakened Harry, it was on his window.  
Thinking it was Hedwig, he got up, opened it, and...  
"OW!" Harry looked at his desk. There was a small stone sitting on it. Rubbing his head he looked out his window and saw a figure standing there, "Do you have any idea what time it is?!" He barked.  
"Gezz, Mr. Grumpy pants! It's just Mel..."  
"And Hermione!" Another figure stepped out from behind her.  
"And Ron!" Yet another figure stepped out from behind her.  
"What are you all doing here?" Harry asked.  
"Do you or do you not wanna come?" Hermione whispered-yelled at him.  
"Where?" Harry asked rubbing his eyes.  
"Mel's gunna take us for a ride in her car! And we're gunna go to the all-night mall!" Hermione giggled with Mel.  
"Uh—ok.... Be down soon!" Harry said.  
Thap!  
Harry turned back around to see a ladder land on his windowsill.  
"You'll wake the Dursleys!" Mel's voice said from down the ladder.  
"Just climb down, mate!" Ron said.  
"I'm coming! Move Mel!" Harry said. He was on the top step to the ladder and Mel was a couple down.  
"Ok!" Mel put her feet on the sides, along with her hands, and slid down.  
"Cool!" Ron said.  
"Thanks Ron. C'mon Harry!" Mel said up to him but he landed on his feet behind her.  
"Hello." Harry said to Hermione and Ron, zipping up his over coat.  
"And what about me?!" Mel said, in a bratty voice.  
"You sleep in the room right next to mine, and I see you almost everyday! Why do I have to say hello to you?"  
"Good point." Mel stuck her foot out as Harry was walking to the car.  
He fell.  
Mel started cracking up,  
"I'm soooo sorry you Majesty!" Mel bowed, her nose almost touching the dewy grass.  
"No. Uff. You're not!" Harry said getting up.  
"You're right! I'm NOT!" A/N: I know that was only three or four days but they were long! I hope you enjoyed! Please R&R! NO flames! Mel: yah. Flames would be bad! HUBTB 


	5. OOPPS! 4got the disclaimer thingy!

Just the disclaimer for that last chappie!  
  
Discliamer: I do not own: Harry potter or any other works/characters Playboy mags Victorian's Secret!  
  
Please don't sue! (sow, sew w/e) 


	6. End of Transmission 4 a while least

Day 22 

Entry Title: 17 in the beginning of 6th year

" Harry? When are we going out?" Mel asked braiding her hair into a long one braid.

" "Out"?" Harry asked confused.

" Weeeeeellllllll it IS my seventeenth B-day tomorrow!" She said tying her flats.

"It is? But you're starting sixth year? How can you be seventeen?" Harry asked sitting on his bed.

" Because I can," Mel said, "and I am. So..."

Harry smiled, "So what?"

"I don't wanna tell!" Mel said.

" C'mon! I won't tell! I promise!" Harry said.

" Fine," Mel said sighing, "I was held back a year..."

" That's all? Oh, it's not that bad! I mean, not ta me at least." Harry said.

"Hmm... Oh well. I guess it's not all that bad as you said. Well. For my B-day would you like to come with me to the mall to meet my friends? I have guy friends too. It'll be a blast! Please?" Mel asked on her knees.

" Fine," Harry said with a big sigh, "Who all is coming?"

" You'll find out. Oh, it's casual dress, even though we are going to the five star restaurant in the mall..." Mel said smiling.

"No, Mel, tell me know." Harry stood up.

"OOOh! Mr. Matcho Man is out ta got me! He stood up! I'm sooooo scared!" Mel said dramatically falling to her knees, covering her face with her forearms as if a bright light was shinning at her, "Don't hurt me! Oo! I'm sooo frightened!"

There was an acquired moment of silence.

"Get up, Mel," Harry said taking a step towards her. Mel crawled on her hands and knees out to the hall, taking the same position, "I'm serious Mel. Get. Up." Harry said taking a few more steps.

"Ahh! Mr. M.M. is after me!!!!!!!!" Mel dramatically fell to the floor; hands over heart, legs straddled.

"Mel?" Harry walked up to her, between her legs.

" HEE-YA!" Mel put her legs together, Harry's feet in between, flipped over quickly, and throwing Harry head first onto the hardwood floor of his room, "Harry?" Mel crawled up to his side and poked him, "Are you—Ah! Nevermind. I don't care." Mel then walked out of his room and into her own.

Back with Harry

"Oh. Ow ow ow ow ow. Awh," Harry slowly got up and rubbed his head, " Oh, no," THUMP! "Ow..."

Day 23

Entry Title: A Day at the Mall and A weird dinner

"Hi Mel!" Three girls Harry had never met ran up to Mel and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Happy B-day!" the one in the middle looked at Harry,

"Eh, Mel? Is dis da guy yus were talkin' about?" She was obviously from another country.

"Yeah. This is Harry. Harry, this is: Lisa, Jen, Tiffany, Mark, Tom, Erin, Rob, and then you already know Hermione, Ron, and Neville..." At the name "Neville" Harry looked up. There in the back of the group stood: Hermione, Ron, and Neville.

" Neville? How dose she know you?" Harry asked as soon as they started to walk through the mall.

" Uh—long story short: Parents." Neville didn't say anything else until they got to the restaurant; which was the most interesting meal ever for Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Poss the caviar!" Jen said to Harry.

"Here you go," Harry handed it to her.

"Thank ya!" Jen turned to Mel.

"So...as I was sayin'...when me dad got back from work that is when the party was too much and then he yelled and everybody left and I was there all by me-onesies; which wasn't a bad thing, considering that I was gunna be yelled at and then locked in my room for a week with no meals and barely any water. Did you know that you could die if you don't have water for more than twenty-four hours? I mean how does that happen? I mean, when you're seven percent dehydrated and you get to eleven percent than you can die? Isn't that scary considering that I am all was not thirsty and yet I'm not dead yet and—hold on I need some water..." Lisa was rambling on and on about, well anything she could think of, at Ron. Ron looked scared and looked at Harry for help. Harry just shrugged then turned to Hermione, who apparently, was not having a good time because Tom and Rob were flirting with her and hitting on her.

" So...Herms... when do you wanna meet? And where? My place?" Rob asked scooting closer to her.

" Uh-well, uh..." Hermione tried to put in.

"What do you think she is? Stupid? She'd never go to your place! She's smarter than you and should come over to my place!" Tom said scooting her closer to him.

"Just like Mandy, right? Oh, and Lizzy, Gayle, Shelly, Trish, and that other girl that we saw TOday!" Rob argued.

"Well I never! At least they talked and LOOKED at me!" Tom said.

"You wanna take it outside?!" Rob said.

"All the way you—,"

"_OK!_ That's enough you two!" Mel sat beside Hermione and made them go sit at the opposite ends of the table.

"Are they always like, well, like that?" Hermione asked.

"Girl, they are so desperate they'd ask a cow to the next dance at my old school!" Mel giggled. Hermione smiled.

Meanwhile, Tiffany was talking to Neville about Herbology.

"So you mean to say that the mucus of that certain plant can heal, what did you say, ah yes, dragon bites?" Tiffany actually looked interested.

"Yeah, and then..."

"Hey, Jen, will you tell the waiter that it's Mel's B-day? You're the only one here that can speak French!" Hermione said to Jen. (A/N: I an a little rough on French so if any of this is wrong just tell me!)

"Oui! Soit lui anniverarie, pouvoir nous a gateau?" Jen asked the waiter. He nodded and said yes and walked off to the kitchens.

"C'était drôle, n'est-ce pas?" Jen asked Harry on the way out of the restaurant. Harry sad what he could,

" Oui...?"

Jen giggled. Mel came up to Harry.

"Did you have fun, my playboy?"

Day 24

Entry title: Dirty letters and blackmail...

Mel walked down the stairs to the front door and picked up the mail. There was a letter from Hermione to Harry. Curiosity stroke. Mel smiled evilly, took the letter and ran to her room shutting and locking the door,

"Oh well! Curiosity killed the cat! Good thing I'm not a cat," Mel opened it carefully, and read it, "Oh my! ...Loves...make...EW. Ew. Ew! Don't tell Ron... let's meet again soon... love you to bits! Hermione," Mel put the letter down and away from her and picked up a quill, some ink, and got her owl ready to take a letter to Ron. She told him all about it, closed it, sealed it, and said, " Take this to Ron Weasley. Ohh-hhhohoo! This is gunna be good!" Mel watched her owl fly out the window while rubbing her hands evilly together, "My evil plan shall prevail!"

Mel then put the letter in another envelope, copied Hermione's hand writing, snuck back downstairs, set it in the pile again, picked it up, and carried it into the kitchen.

"Hey Mel, what's up?" Harry asked.

"Mail. You got two. One from Hermione and one from an anonymous," Mel tossed them at him.

"Gee, thanks!" Harry said sarcastically, opening the anonymous one first, "WHAT! NO BLODDY WAY!" Harry stood and knocked over his chair.

"Bad language and bad table manners! I cannot see...oop," Mel covered her mouth.

" What?" Harry said looking at her.

" Nothing just opens the one from Hermione! I'm curious to what she wrote!"

Day 24

Entry Title: A Confusing Letter from Ron and A Promise

"What? MEL!" Harry yelled from his room.

" Uh-oh," Mel hid under her covers, "I'm not here!"

"Mel did you read my mail yesterday?" Harry stormed over her.

"Just a little bit," Harry stared at her, "Ok the whole thing! I know what Hermione wrote and all of that! I know, I know, I know! Ok?"

" That's considered illegal, Mel, and you invaded my personal property! One more mess up and I'm sending you back!"

"No! NO! Your highness! Please don't! I-I was just being curious! Please don't send me back! I promise that I'll never read your mail again! Just please don't send me back! I'll do almost anything!"

" Almost, huh?" Harry pondered, "Ok, I won't but you have to promise me, _promise_, that you will stop being so Merlin damned annoying for... four weeks!" Harry said.

"I will sir, I mean, Harry!"

Day 25

Entry Title: Mel here, talking to you.

Hey people and loyal reviewers! Harry has asked me not to be annoying for four weeks. So I will not annoy him! Well I'll try at least.... Heh heh.... I think that my purpose in life to annoy him. But I have made a promise and I have to keep it! Believe me! I do not wanna be sent back there! It's not a lovely place. Where you ask? Well, it's, uh, hard to say.

If you really wanna know. Just wait until my next entry! Thanks! You guys rock and I hope that these next few entries are to your enjoyment! Oh, and if you have any ideas for pranks for me to pull on Harry I would love to hear them in a review!

A/N: please read and review! I hope you liked it! And as Mel said, pranks and ideas are more than welcome!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the HP characters, but I would like to say that Mel is mine. Thanks! Bubbi!


	7. Blame, hearthurt, and dance lessons?

A/N: LOL! OK! First off I'd like to give out shout-outs to my reviewers!

Crazies..: I would really like to know the prank if that is alright. I hope those Egyptian gods aren't too mad! Lol! Thanks for the reviews!

Fiona4Ever: LoL. Ok thanks. I'd appreciate that! Tell Michy that she rocks! Thanks again for the reviews! Any prank ideas?

Messed-up Maddness: LOL. I am doing that so, right now! Thanks for the review! Any prank ideas?

leontine-456: thanks for the review! How are things over in Holland? No joke. I wanna know! smiles any prank ideas?

Dragon Rider22: Lol thanks. Any prank ideas?

TeenTypist: My first reviewer! Thanks a lot for the first review! Aren't you the author of 50 Ways to Annoy Voldemort? I love that story if it's yours! Thanks for the reviews! Any prank ideas?

Slimpun: LOL... I sure do hope so! Thanks for the review! Any prank ideas?

And just to any people that read and DON'T review...well.... first of all... review please!? :: bambi eyes:: any prank ideas for Mel to pull?!? Please do tell in a review or e-mail: thanks in advanced.

Disclaimer: Considered done.

I'm gunna go ahead and try and type this without any prank ideas!

Day 56

Entry Title: Catchin' Up Wit Mell

Well! Hello! It's been a long time! These four weeks are up! I'm back to annoy Harry and ruin his life! YAH! Oh! SBH wanted me to tell you that she has a new friend on ! Shooter101! Check her out! Anyhoo! I'll spend the next few minutes telling you how those long. Boring. Four weeks went....

I usually am happy but these weeks I was set into depression but still found ways to annoy him without him knowing it was me.

' DID YOU DO THIS?' Harry demanded holding up his potions' homework. An inkbottle looked as if it tipped onto it.

' No....' I had hid my wand in my jacket a lot those next few weeks. Making inkbottles spill, water fountains squirt at his pants, bees sting him, and other natural ways that he would never suspect it was me.

I think that cleared it up a bit! OH! So many good things are going to be happening the next... counts on fingers 34 days of summer! WE GOT INVITED TO THE BURROW! Yes! More people to annoy.... To bad for Harry though... he's still my main target.... OH WELL! enjoy!

Day 57

Entry Title: Jilted Vacation

" Oh HaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAaaaaaaarrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy?!" Mel said as she flung herself onto Harry's bed. Harry was packing for our trip to the burrow.

" What?" He said demoralized.

" You going to ask?"

" Ask who what?"

" Ask Hermione to marry you, of course!"

" I can't. I'm only.... 16!"

" Well you might as well if you want to keep her!"

" Get out of my room." Harry said forcefully.

" Fine Mr. Lovey Dovey Pants! Or should I say _boxers_?" Mel giggled as she skipped out of the room, just before Harry could jinx her...or come up with a good jinx to put on her.

Day 58:

Entry Title: Floo Too the—WHOA!

" Mel? Are you ready?" Harry asked, standing in front of Mrs. Figg's fireplace.

" But it's so cute!" Mel said scratching a cat behind the ears.

" Mel! We've got to go! Thanks, Mrs. Figg, for letting us use your fireplace and Floo powder." Harry said, redirecting his conversation.

" You're welcome, Harry! Come visit anytime!" She encouraged. Harry gave a fake smile and laugh,

" I'll see if I can get around to that..."

" OH! You know what?" Mel said, as if she just realize something, in which, she did.

" What Mel?" Harry asked pulling her over to the mantle.

" I can do magic now without be expelled!" She stood in the fire place and took some floo powder in her hand, "the Burrow!" she was engulfed by green falmes. The echo of 'Whooo!' was heard.

" The burrow," harry said with one last wave at Mrs. Figg.

" WHOA there cowboy!" Mel's piercing voice came. Harry opened his eyes to see Mel between him and the floor.

" Ew, sick, wrong, gross, no!" Harry rolled off of her.

" Harry? Mel? Is that you?" came a familiar voice. It was Ron. He was in his pajamas.

" Yeah it's us..." Mel did that fish move to get up. (A/N: I don't know what it is really called but it's that one trick where you are on your back and you fling out your feet and stand up? I hope that's it! chews on nails) "Harry seems to be having a hard time containing himself tonight..." Mel said to Ron.

" I HEARD THAT!" Harry yelled.

" OH! Come off it Harry! You know you liked it!"

" MEL! I DID NOT!"

" Oh, that's right! Your heart belongs to another!" Mel screamed back.

" What is going on down here?" A boy's voice came from behind the couch.

" Nothing Fred. Or... are you George? I can't see in this light!" Ron asked the tall figure.

" I'm Fred," Fred replied, "George is behind you..." Fred laughed.

Day 59

Entry Title: Yet another lonely night...

Mel sat on her bed with her head under the covers and face shoved in the pillow. A light tap came to the door.

" Mel? Can we come in?" It was Harry and Ron no doubt.

" Why would you want to?" she asked hotly.

" Because we want to talk." Harry said.

" Fine." Mel said sounding belligerent to their incidence.

" Mel? Is something wrong?" she heard the door click shut.

" Just a few things..." she sniffled.

" Mel! Are you okay?" Ron asked, sitting on the foot of her bed. A skinny finger pointed to the desk by the window. There was some parchment on it.

" Do we read it?" Ron asked. Harry picked it up. It read:

' Mel,

I'm leaving you for Trish. Sod off and don't reply to me.

Willy'

" Oh no. I'm sorry Mel..." Harry said turning to her. Maybe it was the fact that she was in silk pajamas or maybe the reflection in her eyes of the moon that struck Harry. He had never realized how pretty she was. He stood there taking in the new girl he saw in front of him.

" Are you sure you're ok Mel?" Ron asked.

" Yet another night alone..." she whispered, shaking.

" Do you want Ginny to stay with you in here?" Ron asked.

" Yes. Thank you." Mel smiled. Ron ran off to go get Ginny.

" Mel... I'm soooo sorry!" Harry sat down beside her. She hugged her knees tighter.

" It's ok. I knew that he wouldn't be the one..." Mel threw her arms around Harry, "Thank you for picking me to be your guard. I really didn't like it there. It was horrible..." She pulled away.

" What exactly was it again?" Harry asked.

" It was a servants quarter and I was the servant of the servants. So everything they said I did because they could beat me ruthlessly if I didn't; and I didn't once and..." she pulled her sleeves up and reviled cuts on her forearms.

" Oh Mel..." Harry said hugging her.

" Harry!" Hermione's voice came.

" He hugged me!" Mel said.

" What?! I was doing it because of these!" He held up Mel's arm, " I was giving her a sympathy hug!"

" Oh..." Hermione gave Mel a hug.

" Everyone is hugging me tonight... this feels weird... Harry?" Mel said.

" Yeah?"

" Say you're sorry!"

" But! I didn't do anything!"

" Liar. End of discussion. Say you're sorry!"

Day 60:

Entry Title: Dance Lessons?

Mel sat on the couch staring at the ceiling. This day was boring for the whole Burrow. Maybe it was the mood Mel was in that made people not want to do anything. Mel suddenly perked up, stood, walked up the stairs, returned with a big box, and went outside.

" What is she doing now?" Fred asked.

" She has very strange ways to cope with things..." Harry warned.

" She's not that bad..." Hermione and Ginny were standing in the window, peering out at whatever Mel was doing. They all came to the window.

Mel was teaching George how to dance?

Mel did a move and George copied and so on and so forth.

They all headed outside and sat on the grass watching.

" C'mon! C'mon!" Mel was twirling and moving her feet and body so fast they couldn't keep up but enjoyed the show.

Her music got to Fred and he started nodding his head and tapping his foot with the beat.

" C'mon! Dance!" Mel pulled them up one by one and stood facing them. Her radio blasted with her music and she said, "Do as I say and we can come up with a dance routine!" Mel moved her feet a way that so she turned around. They did the same, "GOOD! NOW! Move your hips like this and clap your hands like this!" She clapped four times with the beat and swung her hips and did the turn-around again. It was looking pretty cool.

What seemed like hours later, she finally had gotten them to do the dance correctly.

" Now. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!" They went threw the whole routine, but when Harry missed a step, she stopped them, "Harry, Harry, Harry... you're out if you can't!"

" But I can!"

" Bubbi!"

" But!"

" No buts, no cut, no cocoanuts!" she shooed him off.


End file.
